Get A Dishwasher Woman!

One of my all time favourite t.v. series is Absolutely Fabulous or ABFAB. Perhaps, my life actually carries some of those crazy things Eddie and Patsy do, or my normal accent (my abnormal speaking accent is a bit more North-Americanized) resembles theirs, or I just want to be like them. Writing is supremely smart and ridiculously abusive - typical British humour. So, if you haven't seen it, go to the videostore right now or purchase the DVD's from online. It's the single most hillarious thing on the planet.

Where was I going with this? Yes, hmm... Yes, they are pure hedonists and pleasure pimping experts - totally lazy and woeless. Today, or most days to be accurate, I feel the same way until I hit the "There's nothing to eat" wall. So, here's the plan of action (which I'm sure won't get done tonight)

a) clean up the mess in the kitchen (my condolences and good luck)
b) cook something edible by the time Mister makes it home
c) tape my favourite t.v. show "Gilmore Girls" -- how gay of me but the writing is crazy cool in that show + the mother character, Emily, totally reminds me of my mother. For once, I actually get to watch someone like that and laugh at them. Dealing with my high-maintenance mother tends to give me BIG headaches, broken heart and upset stomach.

And I probably won't be able to do that either because I efficiently screw up the video tape recorder every time I set it. Why do electronic things hate me? The paper shredder Mister bought a few years ago, named Jaws, doesn't like me either. It's fine every time he uses it - when I touch the machine, the paper gets stuck to the point of dysfunction. I end up sitting down and cleaning the damn thing until it is operational.

You know those sprays in the produce/vegetable isles in grocery stores? Yeah, they really know me! Every time I approach to grab something the automatic spray thingy comes on to give me wet arms. It's like the machine has Nyana-sensors - it knows I'm there!

One last thing - I get attitude from my microwave: The thing speaks and it has a HELP function and it just won't cook your food until you pushed 7 million buttons to describe exactly what it is you want cook. It's like creeking hardwood - pestering and totally there. Cook time now!